


You’ll Be Alright (Even If Not Now)

by taegiradar



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: But also, Canon Compliant, Depression, Established Relationship, Feelings, Felix is sad, Fluff, Freeform, M/M, No Plot/Plotless, Not Beta Read, One Shot, i guess?, i think, vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-10
Updated: 2020-10-10
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:35:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26933716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/taegiradar/pseuds/taegiradar
Summary: Saying someone ‘saved you’ has always rubbed Felix in the wrong way. Nobody can ‘save you’ except yourself.But on days like these, Felix realises just how much another person can affect your life in ways you need the most.
Relationships: Bang Chan/Lee Felix
Comments: 10
Kudos: 91





	You’ll Be Alright (Even If Not Now)

Felix doesn’t feel good.

He doesn’t really know why, if he’s being honest. He woke up, and immediately a heaviness was felt on his chest. He couldn’t get out of bed, he couldn’t even feel hungry by the time lunch time came around. He laid there, bundled in his giant blanket and phone untouched, barely moving. He felt like he couldn’t move, even if he tried. He desperately wants to get up, eat something, go take a shower - function like a normal human being. But it feels like a force is pining him to his bed, relentlessly pushing him down till he feels like he can’t breathe.

He wonders why he has to feel like this. Is this normal? Do people go through slumps like this usually? Did he do something wrong to cause this? He doesn’t know. And if there’s one thing Felix hates the most - it’s not knowing. Why can’t he just lift his body up from the bed, put his feet on the ground and walk to the bathroom at _least_? He feels dumb. He feels stupid. He feels absolutely useless.

“Lix?”

The voice doesn’t immediately register in his brain at first. When everything seems like a messed up dream, it’s hard to realise you’re here in reality.

“Felix?” The voice calls out again, slightly louder. Felix can’t bring it in him to answer back, so he waits until the voice comes closer.

Felix barely notices movement beside him. He turns his head, hoping that even in the darkness of the room, he can see the person’s face. He can’t really see much, but the voice speaks again and this time, Felix knows exactly who it is.

“Pixie?” It’s Chan.

Despite it all, Felix starts to feel again.

“Can I lay down with you?” Chan asks, his shining eyes now the only thing Felix can see. He finally moves, but only slightly - just enough to let Chan settle next to him. Felix feels breathless just by that small movement, and he thinks there must be something really wrong with him.

Chan starts rubbing small circles on Felix’s hand, touch warm and comforting. Familiar. Chan is looking at him, probably with an unmistakable amount of worry in them. Felix breathes, because that’s all he can really do right now.

“Not feeling good, huh?” Chan says softly, not really a question.

It takes everything in Felix to nod. Chan moves to give him a hug, one that helps ground Felix for a bit. A hug tight enough that he knows he won’t float away.

“Chris?” Felix’s own voice startles him. He doesn’t know what he’s even asking for.

As the seconds that follow fill with silence, Chan speaks up again. Giving one more tight squeeze, he begins.

“I know your brain probably doesn’t want to accept the words I say right now, but that doesn’t make whatever I say any less truthful.” Chan brushes a few strands of hair away from Felix’s face.

“I love you, you know that right? I love you enough to know for a fact that you are strong, Lix. You are one of the strongest people I know, the sweetest, the most giving - the most beautiful. You are so many things to me, Felix.” Chan feels like he shouldn’t be saying so much, but he can’t help himself. Maybe that’s a flaw within itself, but for now Chan can’t care any less.

“You’re doing well. You’re doing enough. I promise you this.” As he says this, he gives a small squeeze to Felix’s hand. “It’s okay to have days like this. You aren’t broken, you aren’t faulty. You’re just having a bad time.”

Chan leans down to place a small kiss on Felix’s forehead. “It’ll pass.”

And maybe, that’s exactly what Felix needed to hear. Because with Chan’s words, Felix starts crying. His tears are flowing endlessly, his nose is running and his heart hurts - but at least he’s feeling.

They both fall asleep like that, Felix with tear stained cheeks and Chan still completely wrapped around Felix, his hold on the younger staying tight until the last second.

And when they wake up, Felix still feels the heaviness on his chest. Because this isn’t something a simple cry and comfort words can heal. It isn’t something that can just simply disappear. It stays with you, forever, but the only difference is that some days it hides in your shadows instead of making its presence known. It’s tiring, it’s frustrating and Felix hates it with everything in him - but that won’t change anything.

What he can change, though, is what he feels on the days he can get up from bed. So as Felix realises he has the strength in him to place his feet on the ground, he does just that. His chest still feels heavy, but it’s not suffocating. He looks over to Chan, who now has the brightest smile on his face - and lets himself smile.

“Shall we get breakfast?”

And even though that’s the only thing Felix manages to bring himself to do for the entire day, it’s enough.

He’s enough.

**Author's Note:**

> take care everyone <3 im sorry for this. vent fic as usual haha.
> 
> (im here if you need to talk to someone)
> 
> twitter: @eternitytrack


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